Truth and Trust: Prove it
What does it mean to trust someone? It means at least that:
You think the person has your best interests at heart, i.e. has good intentions toward you.
You think the person generally says what they believe.
You and the person share some set of values and/or objectives that are independent of either of your own personal agendas.
In earlier posts we've talked about #1 (intentions) and #2 (truth). Today we'll talk about #3.
Nandani Lynton, a world-renowned business consultant and China expert, distinguishes between "personal trust" and "formal trust." Personal trust is what we commonly think of as trust: trust between individual human beings, based on some kind of relationship built over time. Formal trust is based on shared goals and values that stand outside of the personal relationship, and are independent of any individuals who might happen to be part of the group that holds those goals and values. In the West, for instance, it's easily assumed that a new colleague shares certain goals and values based solely on the fact that she's an employee at the same company.
Formal trust is a rarity in China. Again we turn to Frank Gallo, who quotes a Chinese business leader:
In China, we are very slow to trust others. Do you know how hard it is to make close friends here? If you did not go to school with the person, you just don't know them well enough to have strong trust right away. We go out together a lot. We drink together and tell stories about our lives. Sometimes we laugh and sometimes we fight. Over time, we begin to have trust.
Westerners usually will not do this. They want to get right down to business. We have a saying, "Xiān jiāo péngyou hòu zuò shēngyì." (First make friends then do business.) (先交朋友，后做生意)
— Gao Yong, President, Career International, Inc., Beijing. Quoted in Frank Gallo, Business Leadership in China, Singapore: Wiley (Asia), 2008, p. 91.
It's safe to say that by default you won't be trusted by people in China whom you've just met. It's nothing personal. It's a deep cultural pattern that you'll have to deal with. The best way to do this is to demonstrate trustworthiness in your actions over time.