If you’ve been reading my content for a while, you know I’m just not willing to “go there” when it comes to cynicism, doom, and gloom. Sure, my optimism is shaped in part by my own good fortune. At the same time, I can’t help but see a much, much brighter future for humanity if we just pay attention to the right things, and if we’re willing to roll up our sleeves and do a very specific kind of hard work.

Not long after finishing graduate school, I got my first “real” job: directing a study abroad center in Beijing, for a U.S.-based university. I had all the skills I needed to carry out the job description: fluent Mandarin, experience building educational partnerships, and several years living in China.

What I didn’t have was any experience leading people.

In my new job I had only one direct report. I thought it would be easy, but right from the start I was hit with a barrage of challenges I was completely unprepared for. Suddenly I had a new kind of power. With it came the responsibility of developing my one staff member, and working through our differing perspectives on how our small operation should run.

We started working together in August. By December we were barely speaking.

Our problems had many causes. I’m certain that the biggest one was my not having had any training in how to wield my power as director.

Especially in the early stages of a career, we get hired and paid for some set of technical or quasi-technical skills. If we do well in our core tasks, we might get promoted. This usually means we begin supervising people. Suddenly we find ourselves making decisions that have more impact, on more people, than ever before. Chances are, we don’t get much training in this crucial new dimension of our work. And if we do, it’s unlikely that we’ll hear much about power and how to use it well.

The result is lots of workplaces with managers who don’t put enough time and effort into caring for their employees. Like anyone, they want to do a good job, to use their time efficiently, and to minimize unneeded stress. It’s just that dealing with the murk and messiness of humanity isn’t high on most managers’ to-do lists.

Wishing away the challenge won’t help.

We need leaders to become fluent in a wide range of specific behavioral skills that create a greater sense of belonging.

If only I’d had this skill set back when I got that job in Beijing. In that case I got lucky: during a visit to the home campus, my supervisor got my colleague and me an appointment with the staff ombuds, who helped us sort through our issues. We managed not only to preserve our relationship, but to strengthen it. We ended up working together for three productive years.

We can’t rely on managers getting lucky like I did. What we need is for organizational decision-makers across all sectors — education, corporate, non-profit, government — to see the possibilities, and to recognize the long-term bang for the short-term buck.

These skills are 100% learnable. I know because I’ve been learning them for decades, and because I’ve coached and taught these skills to hundreds of professionals and students.

Imagine how different the world could look if we started building these skills while we’re still students. If the skills were part and parcel of every manager’s onboarding and promotion. And if equipping leaders with these skills was built into every organization’s budget, so that it’s just a regular part of “business as usual.”

This future isn’t a fantasy. It’s up to us to make it real.